As 2014 draws to a close I find myself back in my favorite space, anchored on the right side of the bed with Morgan in the middle and Daddy on the left. This year has surpassed my wildest expectations by leaps and bounds. I started 2014, 7 months pregnant and anxious, as noted in my previous posts. I’ve ended 2014 confident in the Mom that I am becoming (everyday is a new experience). In the interim, I’ve returned to work, started this blog (I plan to be more diligent in the coming year) taken our first family vacation, navigated new partnerships, developed new friendships and become a better multi-tasker. I would say that 2014 was a good year. It was a year of listening to my inner voice and trusting her. She often times tells me things that go against the grain or sends me red flags as a way of caution, or tells me that this moment (whatever that may be) is exactly right. It took a long time to get here but it was well worth it. I’ve seen so many times on Instagram a post that says “everything that you are going through is preparing you for what you’ve asked for”. I agree! Although I am not where I want to be quite yet, all of the long nights, numerous jobs, tests, papers, relationships, trials, tribulations, successes and failures have all prepared me for the greatest job of my life, being a Mom. I feel like I was born for this and not in the anatomical way :-) but in a way that once the dust has settled and we’ve gotten into our groove, it came naturally. I cannot imagine my life before this little person. So please allow me the opportunity to address the love of my life as I close this year out.
Thank you for choosing me to be your mom. I look at you each day with sheer and utter gratitude. I hope that you know that you’ve inspired me every day since the moment I found out about you. You inspire me to be a better woman, a woman who, I hope, you would be proud to emulate and call your role model one day. In kind, I’ve watched you with awe and mysticism. Often times I ask “Morgan, how old are you?” Because to me, you are an old soul. You’ve been here before. That much is evident by the way you’ve come into my world. From what I can see, you are a leader, you listen to your needs and you are not afraid to make them known. I honor that about you. I knew this about you before I ever saw your face. In the 41 weeks that I carried you, your needs were always known, :-D. When it was time you came with ease, quickly and gracefully. You danced out of me with your perfectly round head and gorgeous face. You have always moved this way, like you were an entertainer in a previous life, continuing your performance in this life.
I remember feeding you, nursing you. I had to be patient and willing to wait. You would drink slowly, mindfully. Filling yourself to prepare to be awake, aware and engaged in everything you did. I watched you grow this way, from sitting up, to crawling, to walking… well almost. Everything you do, you make it look effortless because you take the time to learn, to watch and to know first.
I have relished in witnessing your development. I feel like you came out of the womb talking. In those early videos, now looking back, you seem so tiny, but that mouth of yours has always been going.
My love, 2014 has been filled with soooo many moments with you. I wish that I could enter into each moment of time and relive them as they’ve happened because you are growing at a rapid pace. Your smile is constant, it’s pretty clear that you are the worlds happiest baby. I hope you always stay this happy.
Morgie, I love you from the roots of the earth to the moon and back. You are the love of my life. Being your mom has been the greatest gift of my life. Raising you to fulfill your purpose in life, is my purpose, one I cherish.
I’m not worried about you, because you know what you are doing, even when you don’t think you do. You seem confused and daunted by the task ahead but I am confident in you. I know that you’ve got it.
You will always be safe, you will always be protected, and you will always be loved.
My prayer for you is to go adventure, be brave, be bold, be courageous because you are meant to discover, to create, to learn, to experience it all and I will love you every step of the way, no matter what. Thank you for making my life whole. 2015 will be one for the books already, because you are in it. My Morgie Porgie.
Love you always,